By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
