It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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