A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
