My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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