Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
did i walk over a car last night?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
