It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
