He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
