where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
