Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
