Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she smelled like a LAN party
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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