Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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