conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
