ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
