your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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