Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
