the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I believe in your delicious
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
