i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
