I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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