her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
