My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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