unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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