Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
