drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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