Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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