how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
