This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
