its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
