Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
