I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
