I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
