No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
