Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
