Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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