can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
