Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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