My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
