Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
