First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
