Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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