i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
