He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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