So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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