its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
