To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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