Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he thought i was a dude.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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