My sheets look like a crime scene.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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