Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
