Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
