All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
