He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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