You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
