She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
