summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
